‘I didn’t want to end up in a wheelchair’: Ashes hero Onions reflects on painful decision to retire

Graham Onions is now comfortable in the emotional conflict of forced retirement. It took a while for the 38-year-old to feel ready to think about his career and talk about what’s next.

Weeks slipped by as Onions worried about his future and agreed he couldn’t play cricket anymore. A bizarre spinal cord injury on the morning of Lancashire’s first game last season ended his career before a ball was bowled.

“People kept saying,” You must have made memories and thought of all the great times, “Onions tells Sportsmail.

‘Honestly, I was thinking about the future for a month and it got scary – I was worried. I wasn’t ready to retire, I was desperate to keep playing for as long as possible. When that is taken from you, it is really difficult.

My mind told me I wanted to keep going, but my body told me it was just broken. Ultimately, my spine was broken. I thought, “Can I possibly play again?” but there is clearly no chance. I have a young family – I have to take care of them. The last thing I want to do is push myself to the limit and end up in a wheelchair, that’s no good for anyone.

‘But now I am in a state of mind where I am a lot more positive. I have some coaching work with the guys from Lancashire academy in November, so I’d rather look ahead than back. ‘

As Onions takes a deep breath to subtly dissect the August 1 timeline, trauma strikes his face as he talks about that fateful first morning of Lancashire’s match against Worcestershire.

“We played four warm-up games for Worcester on the Leicestershire grounds and I bowled in all four – I felt really good and was in good shape,” he recalls.

‘I remember vividly. I went down to pick up a ball and really hurt my back. It was heartbreaking, I immediately knew it was serious.

Dane Vilas (the South African captain of Lancashire) just came out to do the toss. I went to the physio with a lot of discomfort. I then went to Dane and said, “I can’t play, I’m in too much pain.” I couldn’t bend forward or laterally, I couldn’t move at all.

When the back specialist said later, “We think you shouldn’t play anymore for the sake of your long-term spinal health,” I immediately thought, “What am I going to do?” I made a pact with myself because I love the game so much – and in a weird way enjoyed the torture you put your body through – to push myself to the limit. ‘

Despite the ex-Durham and Lancashire bowler being cruelly taken away, he can look back on a career where he played nine Tests for England and won 723 wickets in 192 first-class games.

But it’s the third Ashes Test in 2009 at Edgbaston that leaves Onions with a broad grin. It was the Test in which Captain Andrew Strauss handed the Gateshead-born bowler the first hand over of the day to faithful James Anderson and Andrew Flintoff.

He says: ‘It was only my third test for England so I still thought I had to prove I was good enough.

“When Strauss said to me that morning,” You will be the man who opens the bowling, “it was almost like a wave of pressure on my shoulders, like,” This man believes in me. ” It was great to get Shane Watson first ball of the day, then Mike Hussey with a ball that nibbled back just a bit and then threw a short ball to get Ponting out. I remember Anderson said, “Ricky Ponting never gets bounced off and you just did it.” ‘

At such appearances in 2009, Onions also played three Tests on the England tour of South Africa and was named one of the five cricketers of the year by Wisden.

It all looked fine, but then headed south – quickly. The paceman spent all of 2010 and most of 2011 recovering from a stress fracture in his back.

Despite recovering and subsequently registering bowling performance among the best in the country, including 73 first-class wickets against an average of 18 in 2013, Onions was unable to regain his place in England. The frustration of playing second fiddle to Anderson and Stuart Broad began to put him off.

“I’ve had so many conversations with loved ones and family I’ve been to: ‘Why didn’t I play anymore, why wasn’t I picked?’ He explains.

“I was constantly told,” You won’t be picked, go to your county and get some wickets. ” And I did that all the time and I proved I could bounce back.

‘I thought,’ Am I doing something wrong, what’s the problem? ‘ But likewise Jimmy and Broady are incredible bowlers who will go down like greats and have kept me out of the team. I’m okay with that now, I can be happy. ‘

In his brief but entertaining career in England, a conversation with one of his heroes after the 2009-10 series in South Africa gave Onions the realization that he really could compete at the highest level.

‘I just got on the coach and Jacques Kallis said to me, “You’ve had an incredible run, you haven’t got the wickets you deserve, but you’re doing great in your international career”.

‘That meant the absolute world to me, I will never forget it. It made me think I could compete with the best. Many cricketers playing with or against onions would agree wholeheartedly.